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Discipline! A dirty word for most parents, often equated with punishment. Actually, by definition, the word discipline means "to teach". And children need it, as much as they need love. It makes them feel loved, and safe, in fact, when properly administered. The key things for parents to remember is; consistency and reasonableness. Both parents need to agree on the rules (and keep these to a minimum) and consistently enforce the consequences for breaking them. I cannot stress the importance of this enough. Give in just once and your child will see the chink and redouble her efforts to influence you. She will also feel confused and scared. Solid rules create walls of safety n her mind. When she sees cracks, she gets worried, subconciously, and shows this with "bad" behaviour. Be reasonable; a child needs to understand exactly why he is being punished. Don't assume he understands, spell it out for him, and NEVER discipline in anger. Give yourself and your child space to calm down. Remember that love without discipline is like jam without bread-sweet but lacking nutrition. Children need more. |
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